Butterfly Animal Spirit - watercolor card

About a year later, I discovered the book Visual Journaling: Going Deeper than Words written by Barbara Ganim and Susan Fox (© 1999, Quest Books Theosophical Publishing House). Through their work, I learned how to use visioning during meditation. This visual journaling process was another important learning tool that contributed to the forming of my SOUL MAIL creation process. I learned to create art from what I was seeing in my mind and to interpret it. This allowed me a way to process emotional and physical pain that I was experiencing. For example, I asked myself “How can I respond to negativity from other people in my life?” During meditation, I saw and created this image of a bird and interpreted it as follows:

Bird with upside down heart oil pastel

This drawing makes me feel strong. The colors are bright and tell me that emotionally I feel energized. The bird shape has breasts with red lines piercing one of them. It reminds me of my surgery for breast cancer and the pains I have been feeling over my heart lately. What I like best is the exotic color combination. It reminds me of dancers and makes me feel free and relaxed. I like the upside down heart that seems to embrace the bird. What I learned from this drawing is my emotional response to negativity from people is part of the dis-ease of breast cancer. I take too much of what others say to heart and turn my heart upside down. Knowing that I have positive energy and these other feelings too, gives me confidence to stand strong in the face of the negativity of others and continue to nurture and love myself.

I also learned that another important part of my creative healing process was to allow myself to be spontaneous and play. I discovered watercolor crayons and they made it feel like a more fun experience. They allowed me to connect with my inner child and freely express myself. I was again able to let go of control, go with the flow, and trust myself. Watercolor crayons would also become an essential part of my SOUL MAIL creation process.

In 2002 I was inspired to revisit the experience of creating visual images of music which I had started in graduate school while listening to and playing Chopin music. Since I was dealing with a lot of emotions regarding my experience with breast cancer, I decided to create a Transforming Music Series of paintings. Listening to music with my eyes closed allowed me to feel, express, and process emotions I was experiencing. While listening to a unique musical piece, emotions were stirred. From the place of darkness in my mind, I envisioned a beautiful image that conveyed the textures, sounds and emotions the music inspired within me. I then transformed the image and experiences of music and emotions into free flowing watercolor paintings that expressed and captured the essence of the feelings and music. It was very cathartic for me.

The art became a metaphor for healing and change. Transforming music this way allowed me to practice relaxing, soothing myself and quieting my mind so that I could wait peacefully in darkness for light and beautiful images to appear. I found that sounds of nature like ocean waves were also soothing. Again I was being prepared for visioning SOUL MAIL images.

You may find a free recording of all of these songs below on YouTube and listen to them as you view each painting. Enjoy the musical performance in combination with its transformational art!

Stevie Wonder - Ribbon in the Sky watercolor collage

Yanni - Reflections of Passion watercolor collage

Kenny G - Loving You watercolor collage

Yanni - Flight of Fantasy watercolor and pastel

Yanni - In the Mirror watercolor and wax resist

Continue to Chapter 7: In Darkness a Vision of Transformation can Emerge